Keep Calm and Drink Tea

Glimmer of hope, but blinded by deception.

It’s amazing how wrong you can be about someone. I was actually starting to get the impression that maybe there was a glimmer of hope that perhaps, changing for the worse is temporary, that maybe deep inside that egotistical exterior lies that goofy, yet sensitive man that I’ve once known. Until, of course, I find out that I’ve just been blinded by deception, once again. A person simply cannot have their cake and eat it, too. Life just doesn’t work out that way. Not only does it not phase me when I witness certain ramblings of nostalgia and regret, but it actually disgusts me because the truth only comes out during times of vulnerability, where pride is no longer an issue. Once pride and ego come into play again, a strong, fake exterior takes place where action clearly speaks louder than words. You can continue to feed me all of these words that may or may not be true. And frankly, I could give a fuck less. At the end of the day, action is key, and when action and words are utilized simultaneously, it should never be to wheel in two fish with one rod. 

I’ve officially accepted that change is permanent. That a person cannot go back to who they once were, not because they aren’t able to, but because they choose not to. It’s true what they say, a picture never changes, but the people inside them do. From time to time, I stumble upon old pictures and little sentiments, it amazes me how much can change within time. However, instead of shedding tears of sadness or disappointment, I shed tears of joy and gratefulness. I will forever cherish those wonderful memories, because no matter what the outcome is or may turn out to be, at those special moments, was the only time in my life where I fully allowed my internal happiness shine through my external shell for the world to see.